- The Family -
Papa T
He was our founder and our grandfather. He will never be forgotten. We used the meteorite that killed him and turned it into a gravestone for him.
Meryl
She just showed up one day, said she was married to Papa T (never got confirmation from him due to a worm eating some of his brain that made him speak) and then she just left. She left 2 dimes for us and some babies for us though.
Pamela Spanish
One of the babies that Meryl left, she is next in line to be the owner. We don't know why she calls herself 'Pamela Spanish', hell, that's practically all she says. But nonetheless, she knows how to run a restaurant well!
Pamela Portuguese
She is a poser, always trying to copy her sister Pamela Spanish. We can't kick her out either, because she likes crawl back inside through the vents. We have to hit her with a broom and say "Bad Pamela Portuguese! Scram! Begone! Or else our Mongolian army will attack you!". That usually scares her off, as she has a deathly fear of Genghis Khan and his army.
Big Tony
Yet another one of the members of the family that Meryl brought along with her. He is married to Big Tammy. He has quite the passion for taking off his shirt like an excited old British man at a pub watching his favorite football team. Along with that, he also has quite the appetite, often eating up to 4 12-packs of Coca-Cola cans each day! What a hungry man!
Big Tammy
The wife of Big Tony, who arguably does more for the restaraunt than Big Tony does. Despite her not being brought my Meryl, she has proved herself to be very useful in the restaurant. In fact, she is the head chef and her meals are amazingly delicious. However, you don't want to get on her bad side, as she will go berzerk on you, like, absolutely insane. Other than that she is a very kind person.
Big Timmy
You thought that a happy couple with nice personalities could create a nice child, right? WRONG. Big Timmy is the worst. The deranged offspring of Big Tammy and Big Tony, this kid is a demon. Let me count the ways I hate him. He's ALWAYS yelling and is always red in the face (probably because of all the screaming he does) and for some reason really likes punching things, even though he's absolute trash at it. I don't even think his parents like him, they're always trying to go in another room or something. We can't get rid of him though, because then we'd be repeating the cycle that Meryl started. Honestly, we can't wait until he gets out of Big Tony and Big Tammy's house.
Henry
The younger brother of Papa T and head of business in our family. He's quite the jolly man, although he stinks a lot, as he doesn't really shower, and never washes his white tanktop. He's quite good at managing money, unlike our last head of buisness who kept stealing stuff (I know it was you, Fabio!). If you see him in his little office, be sure to say hi to him, as he'll most likely do a little hand gesture and then smile before getting back to work.
Dario
Dario is an.....interesting one. He loves pizza, but to the point where that's his entire personality. What are you doing today? Pizza. How's your day been? Pizza. Like, Jesus, dude, get a life. No wonder your ex-wife Janice left you. Other than that, he's fine I guess. Not much to say about him.
Janice
I don't know man, she was a woman. Oh, also she was Dario's ex-wife.